Writing your own wedding vow easily beats all wedding vow examples found on the internet. A dash of personality will be remembered for the rest of your life.
This may be the first time you’re writing something for your loved one. It’s the time where you’ll remember all the good and bad times, and the memories you made along the way. It is an opportunity to show your fiance that she’s your soulmate and a significant other.
During the wedding planning, you’ll need to do lots of fun, and even more not so fun work. From picking a date, venue, booking the vendors, creating the stationery, and many, many more.
Yet writing your wedding vows is a task like no other. This is a beautiful creative process that sparks the imagination, transforming your true love into words.
But there’s the catch.
What if you aren’t a confidant wordsmith, or not creative at all?
Well, we got you covered. In this article, we covered 7 practical tips on how to write real wedding vows for your only love. You won’t need to call your best friend for help or copy sample wedding vows from the internet. Follow our simple advice step by step and you’ll have flawless marriage vows.
1# Give yourself enough time
As this is a creative process that needs some time, you can’t wait for minutes to midnight. The night before the wedding day isn’t the perfect moment for writing.
Ideally, you should start thinking about wedding vows for at least one month in advance. As the wedding ceremony is approaching, you’ll need to focus on logistics, vendors, and many small tasks.
Dedicate an evening or two when you’re free from your daily duties. The brain should be set free, and if you’re under stress, it won’t work well.
2# Choose the type and style
Once you make sure you have enough time, it’s time to pick the style. As you’ve probably witnessed many wedding vows, you’ve got the idea of different types and themes.
Some of the common styles are:
The best wedding vows are indeed a combination of these. One simply can’t make a custom wedding vow without romance, emotion, and perhaps humor.
Matching the wedding vow style with your partner is a decent practice. It doesn’t make sense to make a humorous story if soon to be loving wife opts for a traditional or religious vow.
Although vows can’t be right or wrong, you should be on the same (style) page.
3# Make it personal – but don’t cross the line
What differs well-written marriage vows from generic ones is the personal touch.
You may promise to be a better man and a faithful husband, but that isn’t your whole representation. You’ve created lots of memories along the way. You went through times of sorrow and the delightful times of joy, too. From there the stories are made. You just need to look back and the inspiration will come on its own.
On the other hand, some couples go too far with this. Wedding vows shouldn’t be too personal, with lots of inside jokes and moments nobody understands.
Think of all the guests that will attend your wedding. If you think the words are appropriate for most of them, go for it. Yet if you have some concerns it’s good to think twice. A close friend or relative may help you with that. Let the fresh pair of eyes scan through your wedding vows and be open for suggestions.
4# Lack of inspiration? Answer these questions first
You started writing, finished a couple of words, and the brain froze. What to do now?
This is a normal situation and happens even to experienced, professional writers.
What may help is asking yourself some questions. In the answer, you’ll usually find the inspiration you’re missing for the story.
1. When, where, and how did you meet?
Think of that particular situation where you got to know each other. Where was that? What did you do? Did you immediately start dating or the story is more complicated?
2. What do you love the most about your future spouse?
Think of the character, your mutual life, and the connection you have. Is there something silly that you find adorable? There must be some cute little detail.
3. How did your partner turn you into a better person?
What are the things she did for you, your personal or professional growth? Think of the unconditional support you get from each other daily.
4. How do you feel when you’re apart from each other?
Sometimes you realize how much you love each other only when you’re not together. Think of the days when you needed to go on a business trip. Or the time when she wasn’t with you for a couple of days.
Did you miss her presence, touch, smell? Write down the answers in your vows.
5# Look through common memories
During the time of the internet and social media, this is easier than ever. Look through old photos, videos, and posts you’ve made with or about each other.
Emotions will wake up and memories will appear as soon as you start browsing.
If you’re in a relationship for years, it’s normal for memories to fade away. It’s impossible to remember everything easily, without any help.
The discussion between two of you could be of great value as well. Speak about the stories you’ve made and paths you crossed together. That’s always a pleasant reminder for both.
6# Start with general ideas
It’s nearly impossible to gain the flow as soon as you start writing. Instead of constructing whole sentences, start with the bullet points.
Write whatever comes to your mind. One bullet point may be a particular memory, a good phrase you’re going to use, or the emotion you want to express.
Once you’ve completed the list, you can extend the bullet points into sentences and make transitions between each other.
7# Practice your tone and intonation
Once you finish with a draft or even a final version, it’s the time for practice.
As you’ll be saying your wedding vows, it will be important to have a good tone and intonation. Prepare by reading it out loud.
Find parts of the text where you should make a bigger pause. Or the parts where you should lower or raise the voice.
Saying wedding vows during the ceremony is a form of public speaking. And if you’re not comfortable with it, all you need to do is practice.
As an extra mile, record your speech and then listen to it. The voice will seem strange, but don’t focus on that. Think about your tone and intonation instead. Do you have a good flow? Do you sound too boring? Should you make bigger pauses between sentences to breathe properly?
You’ll get these answers easily, as soon as you play the recording.
Bonus – Powerful phrases to get the inspiration from
Perhaps you’re expecting some kind of cheat sheet, so we are not going to disappoint you.
Instead of writing the examples, we’ll list some of the key phrases you could use to strenghten your content.
About the present:
- “as you are the only love of my life”
- “you are my everything”
- “you are my light”
- “you make me laugh”
- “you let me cry”
About the future:
- “honor you all the days of my life “
- “a hundred lifetimes”
- “in a hundred worlds”
- “future husband and wife”
- “for the rest of my life”
- “for the rest of our lives”
- “in the name of following days of our lives”
And for the end, the one to get your creative juices flowing
Written by Tyler Knott Gregson, a modern-age poet and best-selling author from Montana.
“I will never be the first of so many things for you. I came too late, after life and love were woven into the tapestry of your existence. I care not about lost firsts, but I will fight, knuckles bloody and teeth sharpened, for your lasts. Take the old firsts and put them to rest, silent below the dirt and ash of all the new ones we will burn through. Take them, but give me the lasts.” — Tyler Knott Gregson